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Lost Loves

by This Active Dad

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1.
2.
My baby sings to her dogs She tells me I can’t sing along She sings to them all throughout the day And that’s when I start to complain, that the Love in her eye, is missing from mine And the tune that she sings, fills me with longing But she draws, the line, at her dogs I drop by her place on a Monday And ask if her dogs want to play A single tear forms in her eye And I ask her why is it you cry, well my Dogs, she conveys, have all run away and I Can’t seem to find, their tracks in the pines Won’t you please, help me, find my dogs? I searched through those woods for ten years I heard no such barking my dear She says they’ve been gone far too long And she starts to sing me a new song, about Dogs that have turned, to science for sure And have learned to survive in the wild countryside, And the tune that she sings Sounds like such a sad thing It brings me to tears, for the pain in my ears Must belong, to her song, and her dogs Her scientific dogs are somewhere in the bog when I met you
3.
My baby wants to know Just where I will go He clings to my body like a leech He follows me everywhere He can trace the scent in my hair His tiny body sticks to me He drinks my blood So I cannot run There must be some way to be free I peel off my skin But I can’t find him I’m free but I am bleeding Will he return for feeding?
4.
Not Today! 05:36
I had a dream that you abandoned this place I dreamt about a map I’d love to erase I try to dream about the age growing into your face I met a girl who was a bit older than me She went so far away to her university Seems like you and she and everyone else is ditching me Why are they leaving? What have I done to see them go? Will they ever come back here? Not today There’s no home for you, but once there was Now it’s a dream in the eye of the person you love Why are they moving? What do they think they’ll find out there? All that they need is right here Not today Don’t waste all your goodbyes On the moving day There’s always one more That you can’t ignore With nothing to say Some day I might join them I’ll leave you in this place But I don’t want their lives I never knew mine But I can’t wait Now that I’ve left here I found no one to take their place Will they feel like me some day? Not today
5.
Late at night, you and I Xs on the backs of our hands Walking home, after a show I can tell that you were not a fan Because All of the bands we saw Played one song too long If you were on that stage They’d hang their heads in shame But I know you’re a star I know all your songs by heart Just don’t forget to write One for the way you feel tonight There’s no song too slow But there’s no one at your show I’ll save you the last slow dance If you can write a fast song for your band It’s so quiet, guitar so silent You haven’t even picked up a pen One more show, of rock and roll I think I need to take you out again But you say: All of the bands we see Don’t sound a thing like me They just play their songs We stand by the wall and nod along Why can’t they seem to write, Slow songs that everyone would like? Just don’t forget to say How much you love the songs I play There’s no song too slow But there’s no one at your show I’ll give you one last chance To write one fast song for your band
6.
7.
Late at night I have dreamed of your face I can’t help myself, I won’t be disgraced I dig you up one last time I just hope you don’t mind, do you? All that’s left is your hair and your bones And a plastic ring I found on the sea side when we were alone Arrange your bones on my bed Your skull lay against my head And I say: Some day far from now I’ll see you underground And some day you will see Just how much you mean to me But I’ve said too much now You touch your distal phalanx against my mouth And you say: Let me go, baby, oh please let me go Please put me back into the ground where I can wait alone Don’t worry, I’ll see you soon I’ll be right here waiting for you Because
8.
I planted you, for all to see Out in the yard, with just one seed In days you peaked, out of the earth In years you swelled, to mammoth girth After forty years, I came to you But I found you dry, and splintered through Your branches bent, and your roots torn Don’t cry my dear, I’m the one who mourns They’ve been coming today With their tractor and chains With their saws and their big old greasy grinder for your grain I tried to block off the path They just sit there and laugh So I cut their break lines and tie myself to your shaft I won’t let them get through I place my soul here for you I won’t ever let them cut you down and turn you into sawmill stew I’ve been out here all night Strapped to all of your might Wind blowing through your empty branches gives them fright They arrive with the dew With the boys in the blue They cut me off of you so I give them a lickin’ to I sit right here in the jail Just begging to be bailed They cut you down and cart you off while I get knifed by Kyle and realize that you are gone and I have failed
9.
Let me tell 'bout a memory from then I was 17 and she came walking, walking in The music rose inside me I cannot deny I took her by the hand and looked into her eye That’s the first of many things I wish I lost To see her hips go back and forth across the hall I wish I woulda known just how it all would end But I never listened even though she said Don’t forget I snuck outside one night to meet her in the street She showed up right on time and swept me off my feet She drove me outta town with cheap beer and weed Out to the desert where she took that thing, took it from me That’s another time I wish I could not see Her hips were rocking back and forth across the seat I wish I woulda known just how it all would end But I never listened even though she said Don’t forget Another time she drove me home around eleven She parked around the corner, ignored what I was saying She killed the lights and pulled her shirt up to her neck As the cars went by I hid behind her breast That’s another time I wish I did not know Her hips were holding me before she had to go I watched the cars go by as soon as she had gone To this day I wish I never woulda wrote this song Don’t cry my darling dear You know that I would never leave you here If I only see you one last time I won’t forget the way your hand just seems to fit in mine I should go, I told my father I would be home by 12 I can’t stand to leave you now, can’t you tell? But all I wanna do is stay here with you Maybe we can run away to some place new Somewhere far away from everything I know Far from violent hands and thoughts without any hope Some place safe and quiet, some place he can’t see Some place he’ll never look, some place for you and me That’s another time I never want to lose How good you looked that night before it all went blue Why’d it have to happen? Why’d you have to know? We could have ran away and never let each other go The summer wind was blowing in from the east The last time we met, she said, don’t you forget about me Then she was gone and her father went to jail No one could find her body and he would not tell It’s all the things like this I don’t want to recall Her hips had vanished and were floating in a bog I wish I hadn’t ever known about her fate I guess that’s simply one of those memories I can’t erase Though I try, try and try Don’t cry my darling dear You know that I would never leave you here If I only see you one last time I won’t forget your hand in mine

about

A new mishmash of doo-wop springsteen americana with some weird shit thrown in for good measure. Touching on the theme of lost loves of all kinds. Many thanks to all those who added a little something extra to this one (the Moths):

DK did the artwork.
Sam Goblin plays guitar solos on “Scientific Dogs.”
Victor Losen sings on “Not Today!”
Luke Rifugiato plays a guitar solo on “Last Rock and Roll Slow Dance” and all guitars on “Unadulterated Pit Access.”
Zach Snottler sings on “A Suite.”
Sara sings on “I Watched the Cars Go By.”

credits

released July 23, 2021

All songs and lyrics by Aaron except for the lyric “I watched the cars go by” borrowed from Magic Missile.

Aaron - voice, guitars, bass, keyboard, ukulele, broken zither, flute, violin, sax, bagpipe practice cantor, sequencing, percussion

Recorded and mixed by Aaron in Pittsburgh, 2020/2021 with some earlier exceptions.

Artwork by DK.

Defective Bat release # DB110.

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This Active Dad Coos Bay, Oregon

Aaron plays stuff.
defectivebat@gmail.com
AKA This Active Moth. Aka This Active Dad and the Moths.

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